Susan McCarty
I.
0011 EST
Blood alcohol levels
X: .07
Y: .05
Setting
Bar: red-shadowed, hung with ghosts of smoked cigarettes. No
longer hazy but retaining a memory of haze.
Table: tippy, salted, black
Chairs: ripped and tilted toward each other
Costuming
X: Polyester wrap dress: black
Heels: blister-raising, spine-arching
Some Spanx™ shaping undergarments present
Y: Jeans: designer
Dress shirt: untucked, roll-sleeved, lavender
White ankle socks, brown driving loafers never worn for
driving
Upper bodies:
X: tabled at the elbow, hands turned in
Y: right forearm tabled, left rests on thigh
Lower bodies:
X: foot pressed nervously into table leg
Y: knee leaning outward, seeking
Pulse
X: 89 BPM
Y: 92 BPM
Notes: Some pupil dilation present (Y and X).
0134 EST
Blood alcohol levels
X: .16
Y: .11
Setting
Unchanged
Costuming
Unchanged
Upper bodies:
X: torso fully torsioned toward Y
Y: right elbow closing distance, currently 5.3 inches from left
elbow of X
Lower bodies:
X: a hopeful tingling
Y: left knee: rhythmic
Pulse
X: 89 BPM
Y: 95 BPM
Notes: Phenylethylamine, dopamine and norepinephrine levels elevated (moderately-Y; slightly-X).
0215 EST
Blood alcohol levels
X: .19
Y: .13
Setting
Shared cab traveling uptown: smell of car deodorizer—cherry
bark and almond. Leather seats: slightly shredded, impatient.
Sodium street lamps blink by. Windows: lightly smeared
(sebum/saliva) by previous passengers.
Costuming
X: Added: lightweight microfiber trench; $6 bodega
umbrella—two broken spokes.
Y: Added: gray lambswool pullover sweater.
Upper bodies:
X: head turned toward window
Y: head turned toward head (X)
Lower bodies:
X: legs crossed toward Y
Y: hoping for a fortuitous jostle
Pulse
X: 89 BPM
Y: 96 BPM
Notes: Slightly elevated blood pressure (Y)
0237 EST
Blood alcohol levels
X: .18
Y: .11
Setting
Front stoop: Brownstone, 1847, 8 steps up to door
Weather: 70 deg., breezy, 10% humidity, suggestive
Y stands on sidewalk, X one step above.
Horizon lines:
X: A view of those fuckably cruel eyebrows, the slightly
thinning crown, a 24 hour bodega across the
street (Lucky Gem 24).
Y: Eyes level with the long and pulsing neck of X—small yellowed bruise the size of a thumb.
Foliage: Boughs of city trees rustle above iron-fenced holes in
the sidewalk. Not so much trees as reminders of trees. Trees
like gravestones of trees.
Costuming
X: Lost: Umbrella. Bunched: Spanx™
Y: Lost: cellular telephone—back of cab; small percentage
of nerve—back of cab.
Upper bodies:
X: Lips, slightly parted
Y: Hands, tensed to cup
Lower bodies:
X: Partly turned towards door
Y: Partly erect
Pulse
X: 90 BPM
Y: 100 BPM
Notes: X makes false claims that situation is atypical. Y, gripping stair-rail, practices the power of positive thinking™, wills bodies forward and up, toward entanglement.
II.
1434 EST
Blood alcohol levels
X: .00
Setting
Waiting room on 33rd: Over-lit and underpostered. Dirt in
linoleum corners. One octagonal fish tank. One fish (Siamese
fighting).
Seating: wipeable, mauve, the smell of quick sanitation.
Reading material: Car and Driver (1996), TV Guide (March,
2001), El SIDA y Tú (hot pink and informational).
Costuming
X: Button-down shirt with permanent coffee stain, always
claimed as new coffee stain when noted; black pants
(breathable); cotton panties, as advised
Upper Body
Pulsing with beat of own heart.
Lower Body
Symptomatic.
Pulse
X: 96 BPM
Viral Load
Unknown
Notes: Siamese fighting fish (Betta splendens) are aggressive and tend to kill all but the most inconsequential of tank mates, such as shrimp. Bettas are carnivorous and may eat their own fertilized eggs out of hunger.
1502 EST
Blood alcohol levels
X: .00
Y: .019
Setting
Exam room: Achingly cold, largely beige.
Costuming
X: Paper gown, tied at neck, held at belly, one
breast wandered out, nipple like a hex-giver,
an evil eye, unnoticed by both.
Y: Cotton overcoat, stained at neck and lapel.
Stethoscope for show. Blue latex gloves.
Upper bodies:
X: Reclined and chilly.
Y: Hunched at shoulders, head straining forward
as if preparing to enter, a breach birth in reverse.
Lower bodies:
X: Elevated and pushing out from inside, knees a
million miles apart. A shuddering once the acid is
applied. A pain sweat.
Y: Stool-perched
Pulse
X: 94 BPM
Y: 82 BPM
Viral Load
Est. moderate to high
Notes: Trichloroacetic acid, Interferon, Podophyllotoxin, Imiquimod, 5-Flourouracil (use discontinued due to burning), excision, diathermy, electrocauter, laser treatment.
1637 EST
Blood alcohol levels
X: .18
Setting
Apartment bedroom
Bed: Queen-size bed (Hopen model from Elizabeth
Center 1000 IKEA Drive, Elizabeth, NJ) chipped on
delivery. Slightly warped, modestly pillowed.
Laptop: Warm on thighs
Internet: borrowed from neighbors. CDC website
strangely comforting; specialized dating sites, not.
Cell phone: opened and queued to call Y 40 minutes
ago. No call made.
Costuming
None
Upper body
Irrelevant
Lower body
Scabbing, foreign.
Pulse
X: 92 BPM
Notes: “Virus types are often referred to as ‘low-risk’ (wart-causing) or ‘high-risk’ (cancer-causing), based on whether they put a person at risk for cancer.”
III.
1243 EST
Blood alcohol levels
X: .12
Y: .08
Setting
Bar: Airplane themed
Table: sunk with cupholders large enough for martini glasses
Chairs: fully padded yet still uncomfortable
Costuming
X: somewhat clever t-shirt, good ass jeans
Y: White v-neck t-shirt, grey pants slightly tighter than they
should be. The possibility of a hat or scarf.
Upper bodies:
X: Unnaturally upright and thrust forward, toward each other,
at shoulders. Tempted to palpate well-formed shoulders of Y.
Y: Enticing clavicle view
Lower bodies:
X, Y: Knees pressed to knees like a staring contest,
unacknowledged above the surface of the table between.
Pulse
X: 90 BPM
Y: 90 BPM
Notes: The American Airline cocktail—Beefeater gin, dash of Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix (canned), peanut garnish
0145 EST
Blood alcohol levels
X: .15
Y: .14
Setting
The uptown 3: smell of long-dried piss. Cornered away for the
makeout. Pale selves reflected in windows that look onto
nothing: subterranean ghosts. Surreptitiously photographed by
lonely rabbi. At the other end of the car, someone barely sings.
Costuming
X: Added: faded blue hoodie.
Y: Added: black Members Only jacket.
Upper bodies:
X and Y: heads held by tongues in mouths of heads.
Lower bodies:
X: cross-legged and suddenly stung, as if to remind, as if in
warning, as if moral compass of crotch outshone that of soul.
Y: one leg draped over crossed legs of X. Regretting tight pants.
Pulse
X: 95 BPM
Y: 90 BPM
Notes: X screws up courage to notify. All is tight wound, hard pressed, horny.
0238 EST
Blood alcohol levels
X: .14
Y: .13
Setting
Bedroom: Moment of notification arrives.
Moment of notification passes, without notification. Y lights
candle. X extinguishes candle, wills Y not to see.
Costuming
X: None
Y: black wool socks
Upper bodies:
X: Arched to keep attention topside.
Y: Attentive.
Lower bodies:
X: Leg wound over back (Y).
Y: Hip pressed to hip (X).
Pulse
X: 90 BPM
Y: 90 BPM
Notes: Copulations complete, X imagines a thousand vaginas, identical to own, lined up forever, like mirrors on opposite walls—an infinite regression. Like mirrors in grandparents’ bathroom, where X tried for hours to look through to the end, but could never entirely get out of way of own self to see.
If X likes Y then lies must be invented. Y sleeps and dreams of airplanes.